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Lina

 

I see a soul,
Disguised in the form of
a delicate girl.
It is pure and sweet, and
thinks to itself of
beautiful thoughts,
And sees only beautiful things.
And the pure thoughts are
enveloped by the countenance
of this beautiful girl-
That of which, They call Lina.

________

And I am spiritually tortured
by this bond that holds
my soul to her.
And I can feel myself forcing
my mortal flesh to act
without reason.
And I try.
I try with all my might.
With all my strength, my
heart penetrates the flesh,
and I glow.
I stand radiant-
But an emotion, a passion,
love, and nothing more.

________

And she looks.
She looks right at me.
And I try, God I try.

________

She sees this body, these
expressions,
And must feel some of the
immense emotions that are
emitted from my soul.
But she doesn't know.
She cannot see me, and
cannot possibly experience
the hollow pain that
destroys me,
As she smiles and walks
on.

________
________

Alone again, I weep.
For how could there be such
a beautiful being alive,
In a world so cold and
loveless?
I think of Lina, and
can't help but cry.
I can't help but cry.

________

Take these tears,
The tears that run from my
glazed, gazing eyes to
my virgin lips.
Take them, and give them
to Lina.

________

But this pain-
No!
This pain, take it and hide it.
Hide it away forever.
Dare not let this soul
of utter beauty be exposed
to such a wretchedness.
Such a pain does not belong here-
Even in a world as dark as
ours.
I must keep it,
Forever, deep inside.
I'll keep it and leave.
And pray she never finds me.
I'll pray she never finds me.
I love you, Lina.

________
________
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Old Greenwich, CT USA
February-March 1987 (age 16/17)